Performance
Repost from the REST of the week #4
What was the most exhausting thing for you this week? And what does it look like to get some rest from that?
Sometimes a good night's sleep isn't the answer.
Is there anything you have done/are doing/will be called on to do that doesn't come naturally, and try as you might, you end up feeling out of your element and drained?
For me, that would be managing a group of children. I love spending time with kids, but please don't ask me to manage a group of them. I have proved over and over again that this is not my natural gifting (VBS, classes at church, birthday party games, teaching English in other countries).
Nevertheless, here I am, right now, at a big church family camp meeting a need. I'm in charge of a station in the kid's program and it shouldn't be that difficult because I have directions and am working with three superstar teachers.
Four groups of kids came through my station this evening. The first group included boys and girls who were very distracted by each other (pre-adolescents). The second group had the giggles and eye rolls regardless of what I said.
I started to talk faster and try harder. The time ran out before we could finish our activity.
Did I mention that my station is "The Oasis?" You know, rest, refreshment—and teaching about prayer?!
So, unlike times past, I paused and considered how to find calm from the inside out—to rest at that very moment.
Sometimes (often?) our exhaustion comes from performing—trying to do everything right and meet all the expectations (ours, someone else's, the whole world's). In a sneaky way, the goal and purpose becomes centered on performance (which, unless you love performing that way, is exhausting).
And so we strive. Reacting to externals, we miss out on what we're really here to do and what we might bring to that particular situation—comfortable in our own skin, aware of the unique tools we bring to the job.
We miss out and the world misses out.
Somehow, I made that shift—it gets easier the more I pause, notice, and consider how to do that.
In this case, it meant looking those 20 kids in the eye, asking them what they were afraid of, and grabbing some paper and markers for them to draw it out.
This turned out to be much simpler than the planned activity of outlining their bodies on a big piece of paper. I gave them space to talk about scary things and then we talked about courage and practiced praying about those fears (hard things like bullying, angry parents, alcoholism).
The amazing thing is, I did not feel drained afterwards. I also was not questioning my sanity or purpose in life. I know I made a difference I wouldn't have been able to make if I'd followed my feelings into a flurry of stress-driven activity.
May this weekend provide you opportunities to rediscover the unique perspective and gifts that God has given you and may you live those out free from the pressure to prove anything or perform.
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT).
Until next Friday,
Alicia